Aiding and abetting

A short disclaimer before I start. This story isn’t mine, I happened to read it in a vernacular magazine a long time ago. This has just stuck with me, and I thought of sharing it.

Koragappa was feeling tired, he didn’t know how long he had been walking. It was evident that his mind was pre-occupied with something and whenever he was worried he liked to go on walks. Of late, most of his walks were centered on providing for his family. With the monsoon failing, he was at a loss as to how he could feed his entire family this year. He was passing the banyan tree for the third time, however this time a different scene was waiting for him there. A woman was trying to climb the tree, a woman whom he knew to be the daughter-in-law of the zamindar, Manjula.

Manjula had been battling her own demons for the past two months. And to think of it, she had only been married for three months. The first month at her in-laws was nothing short of a honeymoon. She had a doting husband, a friendly father-in-law and a caring mother-in-law. But like all good things, this too had to come to an end. She knew that things would get a little rough, but what amazed her was how soon it had gone downhill for her. It started with a few taunts here and there from her mother-in-law, before assuming the form of full-blown abuse, both physical and mental. There was nobody she could turn to. Her husband, though he loved her, would never stand up against his mother. Things had come to a head the previous night at dinner when her mother-in-law accused her of trying to kill her by deliberately adding more salt to all the dishes. When Manjula tried to refute those claims, she had gotten herself two slaps for her efforts while her husband silently ate as though nothing had happened. She had gone to bed with pain running through her cheeks and when she woke up the next morning, she had decided that anything, even death, would be a better proposition than having to face her mother-in-law for the rest of her life. It was these thoughts that her brought her to the great banyan tree and face to face with Koragappa.

Koragappa was astonished at the sight of a grown woman trying to climb a tree. “Akka”, he shouted, “what are you doing here?”. Manjula was startled by this sudden gruff voice, but when she saw the source of the voice she simply said “I’m here to die”. When he asked her why, she said it was none of his business, however if he helped her she would be willing to pay him 500 rupees. He thought for a while and reasoned that he wouldn’t be able to save her, but he might be able to save his family with that money. With that thought, he got up the tree, looped the rope through a strong branch and prepared a noose from one of the loose ends. He got down and fastened the other side of the rope to a root, so that it wouldn’t budge. He then got up on the tree to test the noose. He made sure the rope did not budge by tugging at it with his hand. He put his neck through it and leaned forward to check whether the branch would stand his weight. He suddenly lost his footing and the next thing he knew he was finding it difficult to breathe and an amazed , shocked Manjula looking back at him. In a few minutes his limbs stopped writhing and his body went limp.

Manjula was mortified with the sight unfolded in front of her eyes. The sight of Koragappa, struggling for breath, with his eyes bulging out would stay with her forever. She thought, if that is how death looks like, she was better off listening to her mother in law’s taunts . With these thoughts she started to make her way back home steeling herself for the taunts she would have to listen for having gone missing for half a day.

A worthy life?

He looked quite cheerful on the outside, so much so that no one, not even his near and dear ones could have sensed the storm brewing inside him. He had just learnt that his far away relative had succumbed to a long term illness. Near death experiences or even the news of death can make people do funny things. And so it was with him as well, he started questioning his very existence. Maybe it wasn’t just the news but a chain of events that had led him to where he was right now, but the news of a death served as the trigger point for him to recount his last few months and take stock. He had thought he would walk it off, however it kept coming back to him. He walked back to his apartment and started thinking where exactly things started going wrong for him. Things seemed so rosy when he was a child, and he recalled with a smile that he was even hailed as the prodigal son. But as the world saw more of him, the more everyone was convinced he was just another rat in the never ending rat race of one-upmanship. He was suddenly filled with disgust for the world he inhabited. As he had grown older, he had sensed the amount of pressure his family placed on him, expecting great things from him. And when he thought he couldn’t take it any longer, he started shying away from all responsibilities. His reasoning being if he lowered the bar, the expectations would naturally come down. Unknow to him, those were his first steps towards mediocrity and before he knew it, he was neck deep in it with no possible way out.

He thought about how he had barely scraped through his degree program and how lucky he was to have got a job in a reputed firm straight out of college. Although he was still not able to rise above the mediocrity, he had learned to mask it with heavy duty words thanks to his corporate training. He had made sure that the powers that be, misconstrued his ineptness to be commitment and hard work. Now that he thought about it, he was as manipulative as the guy who was being paid to manage him. All the corporate teachings had turned him into manipulative old ba***rd. Wait a minute, he thought, things weren’t all that gloomy .There was a silver lining as well. He had a brief fling with excellence which was perhaps the happiest few moments of his life. Alas it was not to last, when he finally had the courage to ask excellence to marry him, he was told that he could never have her, as they could never be together. And thus ended his tryst with excellence and he swore he would never leave mediocrity’s side. The one thing he had learnt during his fling was that although he was a little slow, his powers of understanding and perception were indeed pretty good, a thought which made him wonder, “What could have been”.

He was shaken out of his reverie by the sound of the clock chiming 11. The alcohol, he realized, hadn’t yet gone out of his system. He remembered the first time he had drank himself stupid. It was the day the girl he loved had got married. His love life although not much to speak of, had been quite satisfying, he thought. He had a few crushes through school and college and a couple of one sided relationships since he turned pro. Why one sided? Because there was no other way he could fathom himself with them. He was satisfied and wasn’t at all bitter about it. As the clock struck 12, he wished he could stop thinking, however his memories were coming back to him like there was no tomorrow. He had read somewhere that your whole life flashes across your eyes before you die. “Was this the end?” , he thought. He got tired of brooding, and got himself a stool and a rope. He put one side of the rope through a hook in the ceiling and secured it. He got up onto the stool and tied the other end of the rope. He somehow felt at peace with himself, all the thoughts would finally come to an end. And then without warning, his thoughts moved to the movie Rocky where the protagonist never gave up. He was inspired by the thought of the character and suddenly he was filled with hope. He could probably fight all his demons away. He felt like he had been given a new lease of life. With renewed vigour he got down from the stool.

The next day the building superintendent found his body hanging from the ceiling. The medical examiner declared that the time of death was around midnight.