Aiding and abetting

A short disclaimer before I start. This story isn’t mine, I happened to read it in a vernacular magazine a long time ago. This has just stuck with me, and I thought of sharing it.

Koragappa was feeling tired, he didn’t know how long he had been walking. It was evident that his mind was pre-occupied with something and whenever he was worried he liked to go on walks. Of late, most of his walks were centered on providing for his family. With the monsoon failing, he was at a loss as to how he could feed his entire family this year. He was passing the banyan tree for the third time, however this time a different scene was waiting for him there. A woman was trying to climb the tree, a woman whom he knew to be the daughter-in-law of the zamindar, Manjula.

Manjula had been battling her own demons for the past two months. And to think of it, she had only been married for three months. The first month at her in-laws was nothing short of a honeymoon. She had a doting husband, a friendly father-in-law and a caring mother-in-law. But like all good things, this too had to come to an end. She knew that things would get a little rough, but what amazed her was how soon it had gone downhill for her. It started with a few taunts here and there from her mother-in-law, before assuming the form of full-blown abuse, both physical and mental. There was nobody she could turn to. Her husband, though he loved her, would never stand up against his mother. Things had come to a head the previous night at dinner when her mother-in-law accused her of trying to kill her by deliberately adding more salt to all the dishes. When Manjula tried to refute those claims, she had gotten herself two slaps for her efforts while her husband silently ate as though nothing had happened. She had gone to bed with pain running through her cheeks and when she woke up the next morning, she had decided that anything, even death, would be a better proposition than having to face her mother-in-law for the rest of her life. It was these thoughts that her brought her to the great banyan tree and face to face with Koragappa.

Koragappa was astonished at the sight of a grown woman trying to climb a tree. “Akka”, he shouted, “what are you doing here?”. Manjula was startled by this sudden gruff voice, but when she saw the source of the voice she simply said “I’m here to die”. When he asked her why, she said it was none of his business, however if he helped her she would be willing to pay him 500 rupees. He thought for a while and reasoned that he wouldn’t be able to save her, but he might be able to save his family with that money. With that thought, he got up the tree, looped the rope through a strong branch and prepared a noose from one of the loose ends. He got down and fastened the other side of the rope to a root, so that it wouldn’t budge. He then got up on the tree to test the noose. He made sure the rope did not budge by tugging at it with his hand. He put his neck through it and leaned forward to check whether the branch would stand his weight. He suddenly lost his footing and the next thing he knew he was finding it difficult to breathe and an amazed , shocked Manjula looking back at him. In a few minutes his limbs stopped writhing and his body went limp.

Manjula was mortified with the sight unfolded in front of her eyes. The sight of Koragappa, struggling for breath, with his eyes bulging out would stay with her forever. She thought, if that is how death looks like, she was better off listening to her mother in law’s taunts . With these thoughts she started to make her way back home steeling herself for the taunts she would have to listen for having gone missing for half a day.

A worthy life?

He looked quite cheerful on the outside, so much so that no one, not even his near and dear ones could have sensed the storm brewing inside him. He had just learnt that his far away relative had succumbed to a long term illness. Near death experiences or even the news of death can make people do funny things. And so it was with him as well, he started questioning his very existence. Maybe it wasn’t just the news but a chain of events that had led him to where he was right now, but the news of a death served as the trigger point for him to recount his last few months and take stock. He had thought he would walk it off, however it kept coming back to him. He walked back to his apartment and started thinking where exactly things started going wrong for him. Things seemed so rosy when he was a child, and he recalled with a smile that he was even hailed as the prodigal son. But as the world saw more of him, the more everyone was convinced he was just another rat in the never ending rat race of one-upmanship. He was suddenly filled with disgust for the world he inhabited. As he had grown older, he had sensed the amount of pressure his family placed on him, expecting great things from him. And when he thought he couldn’t take it any longer, he started shying away from all responsibilities. His reasoning being if he lowered the bar, the expectations would naturally come down. Unknow to him, those were his first steps towards mediocrity and before he knew it, he was neck deep in it with no possible way out.

He thought about how he had barely scraped through his degree program and how lucky he was to have got a job in a reputed firm straight out of college. Although he was still not able to rise above the mediocrity, he had learned to mask it with heavy duty words thanks to his corporate training. He had made sure that the powers that be, misconstrued his ineptness to be commitment and hard work. Now that he thought about it, he was as manipulative as the guy who was being paid to manage him. All the corporate teachings had turned him into manipulative old ba***rd. Wait a minute, he thought, things weren’t all that gloomy .There was a silver lining as well. He had a brief fling with excellence which was perhaps the happiest few moments of his life. Alas it was not to last, when he finally had the courage to ask excellence to marry him, he was told that he could never have her, as they could never be together. And thus ended his tryst with excellence and he swore he would never leave mediocrity’s side. The one thing he had learnt during his fling was that although he was a little slow, his powers of understanding and perception were indeed pretty good, a thought which made him wonder, “What could have been”.

He was shaken out of his reverie by the sound of the clock chiming 11. The alcohol, he realized, hadn’t yet gone out of his system. He remembered the first time he had drank himself stupid. It was the day the girl he loved had got married. His love life although not much to speak of, had been quite satisfying, he thought. He had a few crushes through school and college and a couple of one sided relationships since he turned pro. Why one sided? Because there was no other way he could fathom himself with them. He was satisfied and wasn’t at all bitter about it. As the clock struck 12, he wished he could stop thinking, however his memories were coming back to him like there was no tomorrow. He had read somewhere that your whole life flashes across your eyes before you die. “Was this the end?” , he thought. He got tired of brooding, and got himself a stool and a rope. He put one side of the rope through a hook in the ceiling and secured it. He got up onto the stool and tied the other end of the rope. He somehow felt at peace with himself, all the thoughts would finally come to an end. And then without warning, his thoughts moved to the movie Rocky where the protagonist never gave up. He was inspired by the thought of the character and suddenly he was filled with hope. He could probably fight all his demons away. He felt like he had been given a new lease of life. With renewed vigour he got down from the stool.

The next day the building superintendent found his body hanging from the ceiling. The medical examiner declared that the time of death was around midnight.

Master Class

If cricket wasn’t a team sport then India could have boasted of an undisputed champion of the world for the past fifteen years in Sachin Tendulkar. If cricket was a solo sport, he would have been to cricket what Roger Federer has been to tennis, Schumacher had been to F1(Yes he’s back.. but we’ll reserve judgement on that day). Sachin is still a colossus, but come the end of day you are always compared against what you have won and Sachin has the most important thing missing from his trophy cabinet- the World Cup. It’s not because of lack of trying- he single-handedly took us to the Semis in 1996 only to come up short against a spirited Aravinda and magical Sanath. Who could forget the magic of 2003, where a only a nervous Zaheer and a maniacal innings from Ricky Ponting stopped him from getting to cricket’s Holy Grail. He has had his share of disappointments in Tests as well, the most painful being the Chepauk test against Pakistan, where having taken India to the brink of victory after a century fighting severe back pain, rest of the batting order crumbled failing to get the required 20 runs for an amazing victory.

Now that we have got the disappointments out of the way, let’s talk about his achievements. He is the most capped test player, second most capped ODI player, owner of the highest score in ODIs, first and so far the only player to score a double century in ODIs, has the most runs in both Tests and ODIs, having close 100 International centuries...phew...and that’s just to name a few . His best in ODIs for me came in the Sharjah desert storm in 1998 and in tests his best moment was when he led India in the chase of a score in excess of 300 in the fourth innings against England in Chennai. True to form he dedicated his innings and victory to the entire nation, when the nation was reeling after the Mumbai attacks on Nov 26. Above all, he is the man who inspired an entire a generation of cricketers to take up the willow and perhaps involuntarily led to the dearth of bowling resources- everyone wanted and still wants to be a Tendulkar. But who cares... I would happily give away some of the so called bowling resources just to have another Sachin Tendulkar... wishful thinking on my part; there has never been and never will be another Sachin Tendulkar. He has just been amazing and continues to amaze followers all around the globe with his energy and childlike enthusiasm for the game. From what I remember, I have watched him don Indian colours since 1996 and it has been a privilege to watch him play. I have had to hear an earful at times, especially during the exam season.. but in the bargain I’ve learnt a few valuable life lessons along the way. He taught me, humility can be a virtue, always let your work do the talking for you and he has made me believe heck he has made the entire nation believe that miracles do happen.

Coming to his critics, the lesser said the better. When greats have refrained from criticizing his game, who are we judge him. To his credit, he has always kept his poise in the face of criticism, letting his bat do the talking. There was this discussion on Sachin’s fitness, come on guys, he has been playing for 20 years, there’s nothing he’s got to prove, if he thinks he can’t continue he’ll go on his own. The irony was that this discussion was floated after he had a scored a double hundred in humid conditions. Sure enough if he goes without scoring a 50 in a couple of innings, the tongues will start wagging again , but I know Sachin will answer them in the only way he knows- with his bat.

For me, it’s been a privilege to watch him play and I doubt if that emotion changes in the future till he retires. After he retires, cricket will not be the same. Speaking of retirement, some of the learned scholars of cricket have started speculating on when he should be retiring. He has handled his twenty years of international cricket better than most of us handle ourselves, why don’t we let him decide the final chapter in his international career. He will know when it’s time and he won’t be playing minute more after that. Steve Slater had this to say about Michael Schumacher when there was speculation about him retiring..” Forget whether he’s going to retire or not, we are seeing Michael Schumacher drive, let’s just enjoy it while it lasts”. This I believe holds good for all greats in all disciplines, be it Roger Federer in tennis(he’s far from finished) or Sachin Tendulkar in cricket. I intend to do just that enjoy every bit of it while it lasts.

P.S. As I write this, there is one more day in what has been a gripping test, with Sachin leading the Indian batting charge to restore parity to a rather forgettable India – Sri Lanka series(there have been so many of them). I hope leads India to victory, God knows he deserves it.

A friend indeed

Hello all, phew ...this has been a long time coming. I’ve been toying with this idea for some time now, however I didn’t know how to bring this to closure.

After deliberations amany, I decided to take the high road rather than the eccentric one. Humility I’m told will take one a long way or at least that is what I would like to believe right now anyway.

We’ve all received countless emails enlightening us on the virtue of friends. The gist of those emails was that a true friend is not the one who’s with you in the best of times but the one who sticks by you in the worst of times and thanking you for being one among them. How can SMS’s be left far behind when we are speaking of emails. There was this SMS I had received sometime back which I found rather amusing. It goes something like this –

“A friend is one who sticks by you when you are going through a rough phase, but a true friend is one when you are down, slaps you hard, yells at you and does whatever it takes to force you out of your cocoon which you have built for yourself in those times.”

I have had my share of friends, good or otherwise, but when it comes to dealing with problems, I have dealt with them rather independently. The idea of someone helping me out in a problem of mine, of my own doing was rather too hard to fathom. This notion of mine was shattered recently when a friend of mine held me by the scruff of my neck and dragged me out of my slump. The “slap” was the hardest and it hurt enough to get me back on track. I guess when you spend a lot of time with a group, your actions start affecting the group in its entirety. I hadn’t realized it then, but with each passing day I have come to realize that fact.

While I still do not prefer people meddling in my life, I have come to realize that a little of meddling, support in my case always helps. And yeah, to that friend of mine... Thank You, I should have done this sometime back but, Better late than never right...

Cheers to friends.

The Dear Departed

Just the other day I was catching a rerun of one of the Rocky movies, when a scene got me thinking. The scene in question has Rocky's coach Mickey advising Rocky on life in general. This is what he had to say - "Nature is smarter than all of us; Slowly and steadily it takes away people we love one by one till we start wondering what the heck am I doing here. That is when nature takes you too. But with you boy I found a reason to live, a reason to look forward to in life."

The former part of the quote was what actually got me thinking as the words reverberated with what was happening in my professional career as well. I had just begun settling into my new job with a group of people I was really comfortable with when the inevitable happened. People I loved started moving onto pastures anew. The news really hit me hard when I learnt that a very close associate of mine was calling it quits. This person has had a huge impact on me. I was just setting my toddler steps in my professional life, unsure of my own abilities, when this individual arrived as a shining guiding light coaxing me forward and more than anything else, making me want to be a better person.Naturally I was despondent with Mickey's words ringing in my ears.

When all seemed lost and I was very close to calling it quits, "She" entered my conscious. Sensing the despair, she followed me wherever I went despite me pushing her away. She finally held my hand and I was filled with reassuring thoughts of a brighter future allowing no room for despondency to creep in. She was Hope and I don't intend to let go of her hand ever.